update to last post: i did not submit anything to the poetry contest. just wasn't feeling it, and i feel fine that i did not submit --at peace about it, actually.
but this post is about something altogether different. this post is about my butt. yes, that thing that i sit on. you see, for all of last year and then some, i was feeling bad in one strange way or another, and when i feel bad (and i'm not talking mild bad, i'm talking really damn, painful bad) i am no good, debilitated, and all i can do is sit on my butt. so, as you can imagine, a year + of sitting on my butt has resulted in not only a larger butt, but (ha) the rest of me is ever-so-soft and out of shape. i am not happy about this, and am trying to be kind to myself (and my butt) and realize my un-shapely-soft-ness is not due to laziness or neglect, as it was, for the most part, beyond my control. that's what i keep reminding myself, because i can be ever-so-good at berating myself. maybe you can relate?
so since i have been feeling better, i decided to give the whole getting-into-shape thing a try. not that i ever was in-shape. when i was younger i had a tighter, slimmer body and more energy, but i never worked-out or dieted. of course, i did go to a lot of night clubs and did lots of dancing, and i also had a vegetarian diet, but that was it. my friends that exercised could easily out dance me, out walk me, and out run...wait, i don't think i ran. no, there was no running. maybe brisk walking during an emergency.
anyway, i have gone back on the good ol' Atkins diet, and lost approx. 14 lbs so far, but for a couple of weeks the weight loss has stopped. so i have implemented exercise, which means daily i go for a rather short and yet tedious walk on the treadmill. i walk until my body says, oh please, just stop! STOP! and i do. so far, my knees and lower back hurt, and i feel really freakin' old, but i am determined.
why am i determined? would you believe my 20th high school reunion is this summer? i already feel old, but this makes me feel older. i don't want to care, you know? i don't want to care "how i will look" at my reunion and be that shallow, but Lord help me, i do!
i don't want to be crazy and try to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight --which i think i only visited for a short month post-pregnancy-- but i'd like to be reasonably thinner, AND i'd also like to be a bit in-shape because traveling requires movement and a bit of strength, like when running through the airport, lifting bags, hurrying to the next train, sitting down and standing up, and lots and lots of walking!
i have actually been trying to involve God in this slow-but-hopefully-steady fitness program of mine, because i want my heart to be in the right place: not only do i want to lose weight for my reunion, but being out of shape effects my moods, and i am limited as to what i can physically do on a daily basis. i'd like to be able to have a stronger back so i can do chores w/out having pain for days afterward, and i'd love to be able to go for walks on the beach this summer with my husband and son without getting winded. i believe God desires these good results for me too, and so far, i see Him helping me (and my butt) and i am thankful.
about the author
- Heather Dearmon
- In 2006, Heather Dearmon won first place in the South Carolina Poetry Initiative and The State newspaper’s Single Poem Contest, followed by a first place award in the Kakalak 2009 Anthology of Carolina Poets. Heather’s poetry has appeared in many publications, including Earth’s Daughter’s, THRIFT Poetic Arts Journal, the South Carolina Poetry Initiative’s On-line Chapbook Anthology and qarrtsiluni. Heather's first collection of poetry, water unto light, is now available at Finishing Line Press.
