today my son Jonah turned 17. i don't really know how it is possible that he is 17, when i can so clearly remember the day he was born, and the beautiful baby he was, then a blond, curly-haired toddler, then an adorable, laughing little boy, then a big boy, pre-teen, teenager...and now...17???
yes indeed, Jonah, my little big-boy is 17, and he is simply amazing --and not because of anything Jeremy or i did. Jonah was born with a huge, gentle and compassionate heart that God fashioned within him. although Jonah has certainly gone through some very rough times because of the mess that Jeremy and i were for so long, Jonah has also seen how real and loving God is and how He has changed us with His love, and Jonah loves God as well, which, of course, makes me extremely grateful.
Jonah is also a skater. he loves skating as much as he loves cars, if not more. nearly everyday he and his best friend Chris go out skating. i will hear, "hey Mom, we're gonna go skate, okay?" i call back, "Okay! be safe! i love you!" "K!" he replies, "love you too!" then i hear his truck start up and drive away, and i take a deeeeep breath and pray, "Lord, please keep him safe. Keep Jonah and Chris safe in every way today."
as a mother, i of course want all the best for my son, and i especially never want him to be hurt emotionally, physically or spiritually...but i also realize all those things are not in my control, but in God's hands. i also know that my hopes may be unrealistic, as pain comes when living in this world...but some people suffer far less than others, and if it's possible that Jonah can suffer less in his life than what his father and i have (and continue to suffer with) please, Lord, let it be so!
my heart's true prayer for Jonah is that no matter what, he will always have a relationship with God, even when things go wrong, when things hurt --and when and if something awful comes to pass and all he can do is curse God and be angry at Him, that he will remember, in the end, how much his parents and The Trinity love him. i believe that is Jeremy's and my deepest longing for our son, and i believe it is God's deepest longing for him as well... and i believe it will be so for Jonah, who was born with, and lives with, the precious, caring heart that God gave him. i am beyond blessed to call myself Jonah's mother. i have known no greater joy than witnessing him grow from a baby into a young man. so i thank you, Heavenly Father, for Jonah, our beloved "Dove of Peace".